This week’s application
was a very interesting activity that offered me many new insights as well as
the things that I have been unaware for quite some time. My evaluations with
the communication anxiety and verbal aggressiveness were the most interesting,
yet shocking results between what I saw of my myself, and what others saw.
In the
communication anxiety assessment, I scored out as one that is able to
communicate with others, but fears speaking in public to large groups of people
and I am not well with influencing others. On the other hand, I was judged
quite differently, as to where I was labeled as comfortable and confident in
speaking in large groups and able to influence others. I do not agree with
those two responses and I am clueless as to how those answers came about, considering
that they were done by a co-worker and a relative that knows me quite well.
Verbal aggressions scale
read that I am respectful of the viewpoints of others, as well as respectful of
their opinions. I am not quick to engage in attacks towards others, but
considerate. On the other hand as well, it was also said that I may cross the
line of argumentativeness, which attacks a person’s position and often resort
to character attacks and ridicule when talking to others that do not share my
viewpoints. This particular feedback surprised me the most, because I never
thought I could have been perceived as such in that particular area.
I have learned that
sometimes, we don’t view ourselves as others do. This could possibly be due to
the things we are in denial about and admitting to, as well as our body
language, eye contact and body language that makes a major impact on the way
others view us. Yet, it could be the
personal feelings of others who may perceive us as such can majorly contribute
to these perceptions. We all have personal opinions of others and the way they
may “seem to be”, but it is not always accurate. I say this to say this to say
that this evaluation is even-handed in some areas. We must learn to correct the
negative areas of all aspects to avoid being judged with characteristics we don’t
actually possess, and the others evaluating must be sure to have a clearer
understanding of someone before evaluating them and not basing opinions on
personal feelings. Both insights can inform my personal and professional life,
in terms of learning how to get to know a person better, before judging and
making assumptions on one’s character, practicing this kind of behavior can
lead to more effective communication amongst both parties.
We can be very hard on ourselves when we are critiquing ourself. I personally know that when I am in front of a large crowd its not going to go well this is even noticed by others. I am more of a quiet person but when I meet someone new I love to learn more about them.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIsnt it funny how others see us completely different than the way we see ourselves? This test proved this to be true. Do you think others see us differently because they don't know as much about us as we know about our self?
ReplyDeleteDiedra,
ReplyDeleteIndeed we may not view ourselves as others do. I agree that sometimes we can be in denial about how we communicate with others. There were also results that confused me when my coworkers completed the quizzes. I was shocked to learn that I had anxiety when speaking among groups. I am not sure about the result of that one. Great feedback!
Diedra,
ReplyDeleteI agree that getting to know a person better before judging and making assumptions on one's character can lead to more effective communication. Sometimes I struggle to step out of the comfort zone to get to know people because I prejudge their body language. After this week I have learned that asking questions to get to know someone is a good thing and will strengthen communication in the long run.
Hi Deidra,
ReplyDeleteYes, we can be very hard on ourselves sometimes but I also believe it benefits us to listen to our friends and families, too if, we want to grow. I've been working on my communication skills a long time and I believe I finally found that communicating through the relationship building lens works best for me. I prefer communicating this way but sometimes, I slip and miscommunicate with others, too. I still like to treat others the way they want to be treated because I believe over time, it makes them more positively responsive. I find I feel better about myself and others when I am relating towards others. I also find that it helps me influence others to stay focused on their professional goals. O'Hair also agrees. He says effective build relationships and helps your careers and so, commnicating through building relationship can be effective. It works the best for me. If you decide to use it, let me know how it works for you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Reference
O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed.). New
York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Hi Deidra,
ReplyDeleteYes, we can be very hard on ourselves sometimes but I also believe it benefits us to listen to our friends and families, too if, we want to grow. I've been working on my communication skills a long time and I believe I finally found that communicating through the relationship building lens works best for me. I prefer communicating this way but sometimes, I slip and miscommunicate with others, too. I still like to treat others the way they want to be treated because I believe over time, it makes them more positively responsive. I find I feel better about myself and others when I am relating towards others. I also find that it helps me influence others to stay focused on their professional goals. O'Hair also agrees. He says effective build relationships and helps your careers and so, commnicating through building relationship can be effective. It works the best for me. If you decide to use it, let me know how it works for you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Reference
O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed.). New
York: Bedford/St. Martin's.